come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
