hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
