How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize