so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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