then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
