well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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