i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
