That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
