Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
