when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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