I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
