Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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