is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
