I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
