well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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