i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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