this just has baby written all over it
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Randomize
