I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize