Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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