butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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