An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
