I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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