There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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