I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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