chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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