Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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