"it" just moved
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
