do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
