I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
