I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
