the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
