I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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