You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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