i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
