It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
