So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
He's on the porch naked. Help.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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