She's JV to your varsity
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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