I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
