remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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