apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
