would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
