I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
