Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize
