Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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