Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
