Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
two words...techno handjob
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
