I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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