who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
