why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Randomize
