Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize