How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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