yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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