after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
