if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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