I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
