I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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