omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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