nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize