My first STD was from a foam party
another moral hangover. fuck.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
