my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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