For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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