it wasn't lemon gatorade
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
