i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
