OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
