I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
