Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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