I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
It's never too late to be topless.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize