I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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