I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
