You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
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