she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
